you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
