You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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