my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize