you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
