just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A+ Viking dick
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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