i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
