I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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