im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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