she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Shame - the story of my life.
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