Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
