How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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