Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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