id be glad to
This girl is more easily done than said...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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