I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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