Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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