New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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