Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize