You smell like a Billy Joel song
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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