Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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