If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
