Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
