Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize