she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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