some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize