i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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