You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
