Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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