uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
