So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
