St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize