let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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