Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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