It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize