this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
