I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
