So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize