I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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