Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
