I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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