I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
