i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
