Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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