Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We need a shit load of segways right now
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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