I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
