I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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