Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's never too late to be topless.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
