Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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