And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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