So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
