Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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