yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
