I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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