I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub