and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick