He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me