Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.