who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's never too late to be topless.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
