i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it's like iHOP with fire
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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