My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
its liver damage thursday
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