didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
