I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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