I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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