I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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