Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
